I wrote a Facebook status that got me hype on the subject... Check this out...
I really hope we get delivered from holding grudges... Before we go really deep into this subject, let's all first admit we've done wrong and have been done wrong. <--- This means no one is allowed to play the victim as well as no one is allowed to wallow in guilt. So many times people have wronged me (and I have wronged others), whether or not they apologize God is not holding them accountable for when I CHOOSE NOT TO FORGIVE THEM. God is not looking at you saying, "well ___________ I understand they hurt you so since they haven't apologized then I'm on your side..." NO! He's more so saying, "Forgive them just as I have forgiven you". The one thing that the Lord does on so many occasions is takes away our ability to feel victimized by giving us a plan for what we should do. He wants us to be VICTORS! He knows us better than we even know ourselves and because of that simple fact He knows that holding on to hurt, bitterness, anger, frustration, offense, etc. can have much more damaging effects on the person holding on to it!
So he gives us a simple charge "...forgive, and you will be forgiven" Luke 6:37b NIV
There is good news tied up in this even the first word "forgive" may seem to be somewhat of a drudgery. "What's the good news", you may ask, it's that as long as I'm forgiving others, I have confidence that I myself am being forgiven by the Father! Hallelujah (inserts praise break)! Let's not deal with the things that we've done in the light, that's too easy, let's stroll down memory lane and ponder the things we've done behind close doors, out of sight. Let's consider the things we've done that were direct offenses to the Lord, Himself. Remember how our actions should have cost us much even to depleting the balance of our life, but yet and still He forgives! That's good news. Think about how now that we know we're forgiven we're not haunted by the guilt of our past mistakes and offenses! Whew...
Forgiveness is not only a gift WE receive but it's a gift WE give!
Forgiveness is a choice that frees US from what was done to us and/or by us. However as long as we're holding it we're not hurting other people, we're really hurting ourselves. I've realized it takes too much energy to be mad. We have to go through the monotony of remembering, then feeling the hurt and pain, finally we then resolve to be mad. If we really allow that venom to seep in then we'll begin to act out of anger causing us to now be just as wrong if not more wrong than when we started. Worse of all we cut ourselves off of receiving the blessing of forgiveness from the Father and OH how we need His forgiveness!
Now I'll tell you how you know if the issue has been dealt with... If you get around that person and still feel some type of way then that means that wound hasn't yet healed. It's like when you used to play outside (talking to the older generation cause these kids now days don't know what play outside means), in order to let it heal you have to expose it and let it get some air. A bandage is good and will allow the wound to not get infected by outside influences (negativity), however that wound still needs the fresh air to help. Now you don't allow a wound to stay totally uncovered either because if it grows a scab then you fall prey to allowing it to become re-injured. In every case the right covering is so important for a wound to heal effectively! That's why we need JESUS. Some burdens and hurts are to great for us to bounce back from so use the "first aid kit", the Holy Spirit who leads and guides us into all truth. The Holy Spirit will lead you into a place of healing and restoration!
To hold on is just down right PRIDEFUL!
Some people are walking around holding grudges and the offender doesn't even know it. In this case you just want to be mad, and play victim.
I'm closing... LOL!
LISTEN if you have apologized to someone and they still hold it over your head, you don't owe them another apology, don't allow someone to hold you hostage over something that you've tried to resolve, that offense that they now hold is between them and God. All you can ever do is try to reconcile with your brother or sister, however you are not to stay in a position of guilt or condemnation.